My Blog

Alright, i reckon that it has been a good few days since i put anything here. This week has been really hectic, and i am totally uninspired to pen any thoughts, if there’s any, at all.

I would be embarking on a trip to Taiwan again at the end of the month. I think it would be a fantastic trip in the sense that i would be able to learn and pick up different skills and see things from a new perspective. On the other hand, i am also slightly apprehensive. As this is a new role and it isn’t as straight forward as merely following training, i felt like i was trapped within the confines of a dark room, not knowing what to expect. Whatever it is, new skills would certainly be attained, and i haven’t even talked about the potentially enriching experience yet. Oh yes, and the Ping Lang Meis too?

Next point. Something struck me the other day. I was playing a soccer game and after losing that game, i got immensely frustrated. As i was saying, i used to be someone with a rotten temper. But this bad character trait has been changed progressively. So why am i still showing signs of anger, in a trivial situation like this?

I tried to examine my feelings. To cope with my temper, i have always asked myself this question in most situations. "Is there a need to get angry?" and "Would getting angry solve the problem?".

My friend iterated that there’s never a need to get angry in games. As the famous saying goes, "It’s only a game". This phrase has been used at least a thousand times to cool me down over the years. My friend tried to close the discussion by stating strongly that the ultimate point of the game is meant to relax the mind anyway. Fair enough and i accept that point.

On the contrary, i argued that i played each and every game with passion. With that kind of fire in me, it would have been strange if i am still feeling good after a defeat. So now, there are 2 ways to deal with this burning frustration. To either keep it in the heart or to release it. I think it would be totally inappropriate to lash out at anyone. Therefore, a subtle way of releasing such emotions must be devised as soon as possible.

Lastly, while it is important to be good in sports, being a good sport is no less important. I think it would be good for me if i can hold my hands up and accept the fact that not everything can go my way and certain things are out of my control. There is a distinctive difference between giving your best efforts and going beyond the limits.

Jackal 

So here i am, keying in my 2nd blog. I suddenly had some over-whelming emotions that i thought would be good to share around.

I used to be an utterly spoilt brat at home. From my old grandparents to my parents, there wasn’t anybody in the family that can contain this highly ferocious and obnoxious kid. And the fact that my parents quarrelled every other day probably didn’t help that much. Thus, this pretty much sums up the relationships in my family, or perhaps more appropriately, the apparent lack of it.

I guess at some point in my life, my parents’ marriage was very near to the precipice of breakage. There is only one reason to keep both of them going, and needless to say, the reason is me. I have also realised that i have been pretty much the cause of their countless disagreements. I am blessed to have 2 wonderful parents, both of which love and adore me with their lives, and i take it upon myself that i caused this blissful engagement to be so precarious now.

I have to do something about it, and i did. The days where i shouted back at my parents were gone. The memories of me slamming the numerous doors at home were deleted. These are things that i swear i wouldn’t do again.

I can’t forgive myself for the way i treated my parents in the past. The least i could do now is to conscientiously build up this relationship again from scratch. We have wasted much time and we must get cracking soon. And all these will start from me.

One fine afternoon while i was having dinner at Orchard Road, a thought struck me. I showed the maximum courtesy to the waiters and waitressers that served me. I incidentally happen to be with some friends at that point, and i treated each and every one of them amiably. Suddenly, i couldn’t justify the way i have been treating my parents. They were the closest people on this planet to me, and undoubtedly the most important. If i could be so nice to a stranger, surely i must be at least 100 times more polite to my closest kins.

Mum and Dad, i really thank you so much for being so forgiving, and the way i was showered with your unconditional love. Luckily, i have the chance to make some amendments. Do not wait till it is too late to.

Thanks all for taking the time to read. Regards

Jackal

It has taken me a good 2 years to finally come out with my debut blog. It suddenly struck me that this could be a good avenue for me to pencil my thoughts and feelings.

I am pretty certain that i wouldn’t post new articles every day. Perhaps once in 3 days or when i really do not have the time,it could be one every week to summarise for the whole 7 days.

I have read a good number of books these couple of months and i finally feel that i am getting a bit more knowledgeable than i ever was. When i was younger, i seriously thought that people who reads during his/her free time were the greatest fools. Time could and would be better spent playing hide-and-seek,blind mice or even a vintage childhood game known as "Indian House".

As time goes by, i realised the greatest fool is none other than me,myself and Jackal. I can never understand how i ever miss out on all the useful attributes of reading, and i chose to be misled and blinded by my own laziness.

Now, after completing a book on psychology, i am reading our Ex-President Dr Wee Kim Wee’s book titled, Glimspes and Reflections. I have the utmost respect for Dr Wee. A man, who rose from a very humble beginning, all the way to the highest office in the land. I am extremely impressed by his warmth and sincerity towards everyone, even the most common commoner, perhaps someone like myself. Inviting common people to his home for a great Peranakan meal, and his list of Mrs Wee 10 favourite songs left me totally breathless. What a man.

Recently i have been troubled by something that happened in the past. I never for once realised i was such an unreasonable and incorrigible person in the past. Now, i can never imagine myself treating another person in this disgusting manner that i did. A heartfelt thanks to everyone who told me that mistakes are inevitable. But the truth is really, I can’t forgive myself. I think i needed to say at least 1,000 "sorrys" to feel better.

So there you go, my first blog. Thanks to everyone who took the time to read them and see you soon.

Jackal